The Breakup: Yukari's Story
by AshenWhisper
Summary: We know that Yuu and Yukari broke up before Shugo Chara began. But why? This is Yukari's story of love, choices, changes, and what ended her relationship with the man who used to be her soulmate: Yuu Nikaidou.  Probably 5 or 6 chapters. NikaidouxSanjou
1. Chapter 1: Asking Yuu

I rested my hand on his gently. We were sitting on his couch together, like usual, Yuu's TV playing some soap that neither of us were really paying attention to. Our cleaned off plates sat on the coffee table. Mine with scattered pieces of rice, Yuu's completely cleaned off just the way he liked it. Yep, Yuu was one of a kind all right. He was perfect, and I was… a mess. I took another sip of the wine in my left hand.

"You ought to be careful with that," Yuu looked at me, a kind look crossing into his beautiful amber eyes. "You know you have a tendency to drink a little too much."

I did my best to smile at him. "Please, this is my first glass," I lied. I kept my eyes glued to the screen. I had to ask him, I just didn't know how.

Yuu put two fingers on the side of my cheek and turned my face towards his gently. He was always so gentle. "Yukari-chan, something's wrong." He stared into my eyes, and I suddenly felt like I was a child caught stealing from the cookie jar. He always knew when something was upsetting me.

I turned my glance away from him and down. He had on a pale-blue button-up shirt and long tan-khaki pants. I loved the color on him, but I'd never tell him. In fact, there were a lot of things I didn't want to tell Yuu. Like about Easter's job offer. Yuu was always the innocent and positive one, the person that could always cheer me up with his gentle kindness. Somehow, bringing him into the world of Easter seemed… wrong. Almost corrupting. Like getting a beautiful pure-white vase dirty. I couldn't do it.

And yet… did I want to marry a _teacher?_ A man that could only afford this small apartment? No. If he joined Easter, and helped me attain the embryo, we could have enough money to live happily together forever. Right? I took a breath and spoke.

"Sorry, I'm just worrying about things," _Honestly, Yukari. He hasn't even proposed. We might not even get married._

_ But… if he didn't propose… could I handle spending my entire life without him?_

Suddenly, Yuu pressed his lips gently against mine, and then pulled back tenderly. "'Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, and that's why they call it the present.'" He smiled his beautiful smile, satisfied with his usage of the saying. "Do you like quotes, Yukari?"

I smiled in spite of myself. "When they come from your lips," I reached up and kissed his lips gently. Yuu smiled at me.

"I love you. You can tell me anything that's going on, right?" He searched my eyes again, and I knew I couldn't keep it from him forever.

I nodded. "Well, it's kind of complicated."

Yuu looked at me encouragingly. "Hey, I'm a teacher, right? With a full-on teaching license. I can handle complicated." He grinned at his own cleverness.

I smiled. He was always so positive. "Well… remember what you told me about you being able to see the heart's egg of a child going through an intense emotion?"

Yuu's smile flattened out, and his eyes lost their grin, but he nodded me on. Yuu had always been sensitive about anything that had to do with hearts' eggs. I had never asked him why. It had always seemed to be none of my business.

"Well, I told one of my coworkers at Easter, and they seemed kind of interested," Without Yuu's smile across his face, I almost felt fearful. What if he hated the idea, and hated me for bringing it up? But I took a breath and continued. "They seemed… interested. I think they want you to come work for them."

"Work at Easter?" His tone was neither confident nor condemning. Just curious.

"Yeah. See, you've heard of the Embryo Theory, right?" I felt his grip on my hand lessen.

"_You_ told me about it, Yukari," He didn't sound upset, but the way he didn't put a sweet tone on my name saddened me. _Of course I told him about it. Why didn't I remember?_

I continued. "Yes. Well, they think that if you drew out the heart's egg of a powerful child, such as a prodigy with a big dream, and turned it into an X-egg, that it could become the embryo." Yuu was quiet for a moment.

"Wouldn't that destroy the egg?" For once, he refused to make eye contact with me.

I tightened my grip on his hand without thinking about it. "Well, I suppose so…" I didn't want to admit that I did this every day with Hoshina Utau. He didn't need to know… yet.

Suddenly the look in his eyes hardened. "Hearts eggs are a waste of time." His voice was suddenly deep, with a strange monotone added to it. I was strange. I had never seen Yuu speak like this. I suddenly felt like I had crossed into forbidden territory, but he continued. "Destroying them makes the child devote their life to the pursuit of becoming a beneficial member of society, instead of chasing after foolish dreams that can never be achieved." He paused and took a breath, and the stone-cold look in his eyes disappeared. For a moment, I had almost felt fear towards this man that I loved so much. But… why was he acting so different now?

When Yuu turned back towards me and looked into my eyes, his kind and gentle side had come back over him as he spoke to me. "Do _you_ want me to take the job?"

I paused. Of course I did. All I wanted was for Yuu to work beside me and make as much money as I did. Everything would be better if he came to Easter. But if just thinking about hearts' eggs made him act like this, what would happen if he got a job all about hearts' eggs?

I responded quietly. "Yes."

Yuu grabbed the remote and shut off the TV. "It is the end of the school year, so I suppose if I _was_ going to switch to a better paying job, it would be now. I suppose I'd make more money working for Easter, but…" He paused, and then let out a breath. "Well, I'll think about it, Yukari-chan."

I frowned and picked up the bottle of wine. Yuu reached out and lowered my arm. "That's enough now."

I frowned, but nodded. Yuu reached his arms around me and pulled me into a soft kiss. I felt my skin tingle as locks of his curly caramel hair fell against my face. I reached my arms around him and let him stroke my hair gently and lovingly. I was so in love with this man, and I knew he cared for me more than anyone had ever cared for me before. I never wanted to lose Yuu, my beacon of light. Though what I didn't realize was that today, I began pulling him into my dark world.


	2. Chapter 2: The First Day

**Info: **It's chapter two time! XD Thank you all for your positive responses to chapter one, I appreciate it! I've enjoyed writing from Yukari's perspective a lot more than I expected. This one is set perhaps a week or so later, when Yuu excepts the job, at the end of his first day of work. Yukari's waiting outside the Easter building for Yuu to come out. How did Yuu handle a day of destroying children's hopes and dreams? Will his new job change him? Find out! Thanks for viewing, please R&R! -Ash(enWhisper) ;)

I stroked my finger across the dirty windshield of my car as I waited outside the Easter building. Today was the first day of Yuu-chan's job at Easter, and as much as I tried to deny it, I was nervous for him. How would the man I could never talk about heart's eggs with handle a job like this? Would he hate me for what I did; for what I got him a _job_ doing? I let out a sigh. I had been so confident that Yuu needed this job. But… maybe letting him stay a teacher was the right choice after all. Who knows. Only time would tell.

I saw the door to the intimidating skyscraper swing, and opened my mouth to yell. I stopped myself quickly before I embarrassed myself by yelling to a random Easter employee. For a moment, I had felt relief to see him come out. But now, I was back to waiting.

I turned to look at my car's windshield. I traced my finger in a soft curve, then one more to form a heart. Tracing my finger inside it, I formed a small "YS", then two quick lines for a + sign, and carefully formed the initials "YN." I found myself rolling my eyes as I wiped my hand on my skirt.]. _What are you, five? You're going to smudge the glass. _Quickly, I wiped my hand across it, wiping the heart back into the dust from which it came.

"Why did you erase it?" I turned to see Yuu standing at the front of the car. He was smiling at me, a few binders cradled in his clumsy arms. Something felt different about his smile, however. The curve at the edge was just a tad bit softer than it had been before. "I thought it was cute."

"Yuu," He set the binders down, and I allowed him to pull me into a gentle embrace. I wrapped my arms around him and held him hard. I was glad to see him with the same cheeriness as always, even after a dreary job like this. I wanted to be in his arms forever in that moment, to freeze it in time until I had squeezed every last drop of happiness from it. But when he began to pull back, like always, I let him.

_Yukari, you're over thinking things again._ I felt myself readjusting my glasses. It was a nervous tick I had tried countless times to break. "So… how was the job?" I didn't want to ask, and I could tell he knew that, but I did.

Yuu shrugged. "It was alright. Boring, and kind of…" He looked at the ground for a moment. "…depressing. But it was alright." He looked back up at me, and I knew he could read the concern in my eyes. He had always been good at that.

"What's wrong?" He touched my hand in a soft, kind, way, and I let him take hold of it. I was suddenly overcome with feeling that someone like this—someone kind and gentle like Yuu—didn't belong working at a dark place like this.

"Nothing." I lied.

Yuu searched my eyes. "Yukari-chan. You know that I don't want you to worry about me, right?" The look of concern that crossed his face was so loving I wished I could keep it forever.

"I know."

"I'm doing this all for you. I don't want you to feel worried about me." He smiled at me. "Besides, as the man, it's my job to worry about you, right?"

I smiled half-heartedly at him. "Yeah, I guess."

Yuu put his fingers gently against my chin in the kind way he always did that made me feel like a princess. Then again, everything Yuu did for me made me feel like I was the most important person in the world to him. And he was the most important person in the world to me. But, if that were true… would I have made him get this job? Guilt seeped through me as I stared into his beautiful amber eyes. "I got this job to make you happy. I'm doing all of this for you, Yukari. Don't worry about me." He grinned in a cheerful and positive way. "Besides, they say that you can either let people change you, or let yourself change people." He leaned in closer. "I won't let anything here change me, darling."

I nodded. "I know, Yuu." I reached up and kissed him. I could've sworn I felt a certain rigidness to his lips. _Okay, now I'm just imagining things._

"Would you like to head out for a drink? I'll buy," He grinned at me, and I knew I couldn't say no.

"You always buy, Yuu," I felt myself smiling, and didn't suppress it.

Yuu grinned in the kind, innocent way he always did. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

I laughed. Real laughter. Yuu was the only person who could make me laugh; no, could make me happy, ever since I joined Easter. He would never lose that quality. "Alright."

We agreed to head over to a nearby bar in Yuu's car, then he would ride me back here and I'd drive my car back home. Unless I ended up drinking too much. Then… well, who knows. But I did know that Yuu would take care of me. He was always that kind of a dependable, caring individual. So, we headed over to his red jeep-style car, and got in.

I strapped myself in swiftly. And Yuu had his hands on the wheel immediately. I looked at him as I spoke, but he kept his eyes on the road, like the responsible driver he was. "So… what did they have you doing?"

He stiffened slightly, and I felt myself biting my lip. _Should I have brought it up? Will it upset him?_

"Well… They had me go out and," He paused. "well, I found a child who was completely elated." That time I knew I saw a saddened look go across his face. "And I drew out his hearts egg and turned it into an X-egg." The words sounded almost pained, like he was trying to cover it up. "It was soft blue, with a microphone stand on it. I think he wanted to be a stand-up comedian. But… now it'll never happen."

I opened up my mouth, like I could suddenly figure out something smart and consoling to say that would cheer him up, but I knew I couldn't. I had no idea what to say. Unlike Yuu, who could come up with something clever and kind in an instant… I was silent. I had never thought about the eggs that I had used Utau as a puppet to destroy. What had they mattered to me, when the only egg that should matter was the embryo? But somehow, in some way, I realized that heart's eggs mattered to Yuu. I wasn't sure how. But in that moment I knew that heart's eggs were significantly important to this man.

Yuu continued. "But, it was really a stupid dream anyway." His eyes had a faraway look. "I mean, it was good to get him away from stupid dreams that will land him in the streets. It was good for him to give it up this early. Instead of waiting for him to grow, and get so immersed in a world of hopes and dreams that when they fall through, he is so completely crushed and torn apart that he can never be put back together fully _again." _

I felt my mouth opening in surprise. Yuu's teeth were gritted together, his hands in a death grip on the wheel like wringing a neck. His face was the picture of hatred and sorrow so suddenly, and I couldn't help feeling fearful. What… what happened to Yuu?

Yuu kept going, his voiced raised, with a deeper hint of anger and regret. "Dreams are ploys to throw a child into a life of depression and poverty, and deserve to be destroyed. They're just big disappointments to give people a fake future, and get them excited for a tomorrow that never comes! The second the child gets within reach, they shatter into a billion pieces, and never let the innocent child come out unscathed! They're pointless, stupid, and cruel!"

The last words were so loud I couldn't help feeling fright send chills down my back. I had seen Yuu feel upset, but _never _like this. I was staring at him and hadn't realized we had pulled into a parking spot. Yuu let his hands fall to his sides, his eyes closed tightly in anger and, probably, sadness. The sudden silence filled me with discomfort. I wanted to say something, anything, to fill the empty space. But I couldn't find a word to fit the situacion. The silence seemed to last forever, and I just wanted it to end.

_Is this… the first moment I've ever been with Yuu that I've just wanted to get done with? Normally, I love every moment I spend with him. What happened?_

Yuu opened his eyes suddenly, as if coming out of a trance. He seemed startled to remember that I existed. "Yukari…"

I couldn't think of a response. _I'm an idiot._

He let out a slow long breath of air, but didn't meet my eyes as he spoke. "I'm so sorry about that. That was stupid. Please, try and forget I ever said those things."

I nodded, as it was the only thing I could think to do.

Yuu unclipped his strap. "Let's go."

I followed him into the bar. He held the door for me like always. He picked out our table for us as always. He pulled out my chair for me, as always. But… I knew his thoughts were far away, on something that must have caused this hatred of dreams he had. I wished I knew, wished I could share his pain, but for now all I could do was sit and wait for the bartender to come by.

She didn't take long, and she spoke in a singsong voice as if she was completely happy with her job and thought the world was filled with rainbows and puppy dogs. But I knew that wasn't what she was feeling. Nobody speaks in an honest way with how they feel. Not even Yuu. Until just now.

I picked out my wine quickly. Yuu looked up at the waitress, and spoke, trying to remove the rocks of anger from his voice. "I'll have a Bud Light, please."

_Yuu's getting a beer? _Any other day, Yuu would have said that it was more economical to just get a drink of water, and that drinking, for him, was only for parties, save buying his Yukari-chan a drink. I longed for him to speak those words that had always annoyed me in a playful way. But he did not.

"Yukari, I am so sorry." Yuu was the first to speak. "I just… It was an outburst, it was so stupid." He suddenly locked eyes with me in that way he always did. "I never meant to hurt your feelings, Yukari. I always want you to be happy, and if I ever make you feel uncomfortable like that again, I want you to tell me so I can correct it."

"Yuu…"

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." I almost smiled. Yuu and his quotes. But I had to speak, and now was my only choice. I took a breath, and spoke confidently.

"Yuu, that's exactly it. You're always worried about me, but I don't worry enough about your feelings. I need… I need you to share with me your pain, so I can help you through it. If you always absorb my pain for me, and never let any of yours out, how can you cope?" Yuu didn't answer. "Please, Yuu. Don't go through whatever you're facing alone. Please."

This time, I was the one to grab his hand. He looked down for a while, and there was only silence. I've really started hating silence. But I did my best to wait patiently.

Yuu finally looked up, and his voice had its regular honey-sweetness, almost making me forget the harsh, angry voice he had had in the car. Almost. "Yukari-chan, I love you more than I've ever loved anything. I don't want to cause you any pain."

"But that's just what you're doing!" The anguish in my usually calm voice worried me, but I continued. "If you keep all of this sadness and anger inside, you make me upset, and make me wish I could help you, but you don't let me! You keep grinning, and acting like everything's fine, but it's not! I know that now! So just let me absorb some of your sadness for you. Because if you keep all of this pain inside, Yuu," He was looking down, but I used his tactic and waited until he had locked eyes with me to continue. "One day, it'll be too much. One day, you'll be so emotionally scarred, that you'll lose the beautiful kindess that makes you you, and I'll be left with only the memories." I felt a tear coming to my eye, and did my best to keep it inside. "Don't do that to me, Yuu. Stay with me. Tell me what made you so upset back there."

Yuu didn't respond. I realized our drinks had came, but I didn't touch it.

"I don't care if you quit work. Think about what you said. If the happiness of one is essential to the other, then I need you to be happy, Yuu. So tell me what's wrong."

He looked up at me. The sadness left his eyes, and instead, to my surprise, a smile curved the edge of his lips. "Yukari-chan. You are so much more clever then you give yourself credit for." He leaned towards my stool and kissed my cheek gently. "You are so kind, and beautiful, and amazing." He kissed me again, and leaned back into a frown. "But… I'm not going to tell you about my childhood."

I opened my mouth to speak, but he put a finger against my lips. Slowly, he handed me my wine, and grabbed his beer off the counter. "You don't need to know what happened to me back then."

"But-"

"Shhhh." He smiled at me, and I felt suddenly annoyed. But he continued. "Listen. I promise, that one day I'll tell you what happened. I promise you this, Yukari. But not today. Alright? I won't break a promise to someone I love as much as you. You know that." I nodded, and he smiled.

He took a drink of the beer. I couldn't help feeling it was out of character for him. Yuu always did his best to be happy without the use of alchohal. I felt even more worried that he had stopped down to his. But I knew Yuu wouldn't break his promise. And who knows, maybe he would tell me soon.


	3. Chapter 3: Is This The End?

**Info:** Chapter 3 is here! Thanks for all of the awesome reviews, and a special thanks to Laura Schiller and LilyGinnyBlack for some really helpful and kind reviews. But also thanks to all of my reviewers and readers, your encouragement keeps me writing! Thanks so much for sticking with me to chapter three! This part is going to be hard to figure out, but I'll do my best! Keep an eye out for chapter four! It doesn't end here!

**Note:**In episode 21 and other episodes we see Yuu's robot key chain on his phone, but for the purpose of the story, I'm gonna ignore the fact that he technically still has it at that point in the anime. You'll get it when you read this.

-A few weeks later-

I brushed back a lock of maroon hair as I stepped towards the break room, silently hoping Yuu wasn't there. Yesterday was his first day at Seiyo Elementary, and I wasn't too eager to hear about it. I really wasn't sure why._ It's because I can't imagine Yuu manipulating a bunch of kids, that's why. _I felt my stomach turn. It was true. Yuu and I had been getting together less and less recently, and as much as I wanted to go back to the passion we used to have, seeing Yuu now, seeing how different he had become... the whole thing was kind of unsettling to me. I couldn't put my finger on why.

But the fact that I couldn't avoid it forever was confirmed as I took a step inwards. Yuu was leaning into the refrigerator, no doubt taking out his bento, when he turned and noticed me, his face turning into a soft smile. My heart moved, but not in love, in a strange sense of longing. Which didn't make any sense, but I was still overcome with unexplained sadness. I was filled with feeling like things weren't going to last much longer, and I didn't want that. _Right?_

Yuu stood up to greet me, but with his upper half in the refrigerator, he just smacked his head on the top of the fridge. I smiled a little despite myself as he stepped away from the fridge, rubbing his head as he closed the door and came over to me.

"Greetings, Yukari-chan," He said with an overly ditzy smile, which was slightly unsettling. I noticed that his wardrobe had changed. Where he'd normally where a blue shirt and tie, there was a dorky yellow and green combination. His crazy hair was just as unkempt as usual, but it was back in a dull purple tie, which was odd for him. And instead of his gorgeous eyes shining, they were covered by silver wire-rimmed glasses.

I raised an eyebrow. "Yuu-kun, why are you dressed... like that?"

Yuu looked down at himself as if he forgot what he was wearing. "Oh, this? I figured I'd do better under the radar if I looked more like a teacher. Glasses, dorky clothes, that sort of stuff."

I bit my lip. I had to talk to him now, in private. "Yuu, let's go somewhere else to talk," I said, coaxing him into the hallway. We walked for a bit until we were at an end of the hallway that people didn't walk through much. "Under the radar?" I quoted in confusion.

He nodded, his soft butterscotch-colored hair moving with his head. "Of course. I don't want the teachers knowing what I'm really doing there."

I felt my stomach flip a little. "That's... I mean, it seems almost..." I searched for a word to convey this discomfort I felt. "Wrong." I spit out the word without thinking about the reprecussions.

He raised an eyebrow, and his eyes flashed with a bit of annoyance. "Wrong?" He looked at me. "And how is it more wrong than you using Utau and sucking the dreams out of children who just want to listen to some music they like?"

I cringed at his harsh tone, but he noticed immediately. He put a hand to his face. "Oh, Yuu, what are you doing?" He put my hand in his, and I felt chills run down my spine. It had been a whole week since I had made physical contact with Yuu-kun, and I missed the feeling of his arms around me and his lips on mine. "I'm so sorry Yukari-chan, I don't know what keeps getting into me nowadays. I love you," His words were soft, and as he reached his arms around me, I couldn't help wanting to embrace him again.

I let myself be pulled into his strong grasp, enjoying the hug more than I'd tell him. "I'm sorry Yuu. I just... I can't see you manipulating children like that, I guess."

He released me gently. "What do you mean? I'm getting them back on track, making them focus on becoming beneficial members of society instead of chasing worthless dreams. Nothing more."

I lowered my head. I could help but notice his red phone sticking out of his pocket, and the chain dangling from it... _A robot? _"Yuu-kun..."

"Yes?" He said, his voice sweet and soft, but his face not nearly as soft as it used to be.

"You like robots?"

I looked up at him, and he looked shocked. He turned his face away, hiding his expression, but I could tell it wasn't a happy one. "Ro... robots? Of course not, robots are a useless waste of time."

I reached up and grabbed his shoulders, and his head turned towards me. "Don't lie to me, Yuu."

He looked at me with his kind eyes, which had slowly turned hard these last few weeks. "Yukari-chan, I honestly could not care less about robots."

I knew he didn't believe it at all. "Yuu... These past few weeks... you've changed so much."

His eyes met mine in confusion, with a mix of accusation. "What do you mean?"

"You..." I almost couldn't think of the words, and wished I could say it without hurting him. "You've become so much colder," He raised an eyebrow, and I looked away, knowing I never wanted to face this. "Manipulating kids? You would have never done that before this. Easter... it's changed you."

"Yukari, you were the one that wanted me to take this job," He said, his voice nearly accusing. "Are you telling me you're upset that I did?"

I felt sadness wash over me as his tone hardened, but I swallowed it, keeping my gaze hard and prideful. "I'm not sure." I took a pause, and sighed. "It's just... ever since that day in the car, you've been so cold."

"Cold?" He sounded much more upset than usual, and I felt just the same. Maybe Yuu wasn't the only one who had changed. "Yukari, everything I've done here has been for you because I love you!"

I looked down. "I know, but... You're keeping secrets, you don't embrace me to say hello like you always have, and just a few days ago when we saw each other, you were..." The words were strange on my tongue, and I didn't want to let them out. "Looking at another woman." My cheeks reddened.

I could tell my words were bringing him pain, and I longed desperately that none of this had ever happened, but I knew it already had and I had to do this now. His pain this time was not sadness, he was past sadness, but now anger. "Yukari-chan," His tone was much darker than normal, and I nearly took a step back. "I've always kept that event in my life secret, and I'm not allowed to look at another woman? It's not like we're married," My heart was hurt by his words more than I'd say. _He didn't even deny it... _"And besides, hugging every time we see each other is an impractical waste of important time." He said it like a scientist more troubled by practicallity than emotion, and it was worrying.

Now I was the surprised one. _Yuu... what happened to you? _"I just wish things hadn't changed so much between us."

"Yukari," He looked at me sharply, and I felt a tinge of fear at how he was acting as I realized that he'd never go back to the way he used to be, no matter what I tried to do. His hands were balled into fists. "I have worked so hard to make you happy because I knew it would make me more happy. But look at this!" His tone was angry, his eyes becoming noticeably moist as he gritted his teeth. "I threw out a secure, well-paying job for you. I began doing something I tried to convince myself was right, and now have convinced myself that it is, but I still don't like doing it. I come here every day in the hopes that I'll see my Yukari-chan, in the hopes that I can make things better for my Yukari-chan, in the hopes that today I'll get over it all. I've tried so hard not to be changed, and you never even warned me that you were becoming unhappy! How can you blame me for this if you didn't even tell me if you were upset?" His breath was rapid, frustration building in his voice. He reached up and pulled out the tie in his hair, than grabbed off his glasses and shoved them into his pocket. "Everything I've done here, every time I've put up with one of your coworkers leering at me, every time I've put up with all of these dumb jobs to find some stupid 'magical egg' thing that probably doesn't exist... It's all been for you, to make you happy!" His words brought me more pain than I'd admit, but judging by his grim face, he was feeling worse. "I've jumped through hoop after hoop for you, and you're telling me it's still not enough?"

For a moment I couldn't speak as my heart was torn with pain._ He's right. He's never stopped working to please me, and here I am denouncing everything. But now that I know what Yuu is really like, how could I go back to dating him like nothing's happened? _"Yuu..." I found myself caught up in a sob, shaking my head as I tried to keep the tears from falling. "I am so, so sorry. For everything," I said honestly.

Yuu lowered his shoulders, a look of tender sadness crossing his face for the first time in a long time. His shoulders lowered, but he didn't even look at me. "I am too. I'm sorry that no matter what I do, I can't make the only woman I've ever really loved happy."

is words cut me deep as I looked up at him, and his face had gone back to the soft innocent and kind look it had held just a month or so ago that I hadn't seen in so long. But I knew it wouldn't last, and I couldn't handle any more of his instability. "I don't want this to end, Yuu."

"So are you saying it won't, or," He paused, and looked down in sadness. "Or that you don't like it, but it's over?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but my words failed me, a rasping sound coming from the back of my throught instead.

Yuu looked away from me. "So all good things... really do have to come to an end?" He looked at me for confirmation, but I gave none. "Yukari..." He waited until I looked into his eyes. "I want you to know that I don't want to lose you. If this _is _the end, I'm not going to be immature about it and beg. I'm not going to be one of those messed up guys that starts stalking you, and I'm not going to make you regret anything you do because I love you too much to hurt you. But..." His voice was choked for a moment as he searched for the words. "I love you, and I'm sorry for every way I've changed." His voice was a weak sob. "That's all I have." He looked at me with that cute half smile of his that he used when he just made a joke, but the way his eyes were clouded over and the way his eyebrows were cocked up made me know it wasn't funny.

I looked up at him sadly. _Is this really the time to end this? Is there anyway to salvage this at all? _I knew what the answer was, but I didn't want to end this thing that had been so wonderful. _But no. I'm not ready to live with someone who has so many different personalities and feelings that seem to drive him crazy on the inside. This... this is it. I have to end it now, I can't go through this all again with him, or else I'll just give up again._

_I have to do this now._

"Yuu-kun..." For a moment I feared couldn't form the words, but slowly, with a regretful and pained voice, I did. "It's over."

Yuu paused, and avoided my eyes. "I..." He froze so long I feared he'd never move again. "I understand."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, carefully using his long fingers to unclasp the robot key chain. I was unsure of what he was doing, but I didn't speak. He slipped his phone into his pocket and touched my hand, lifting it up, palm up. He his other hand on top of mine, letting the key chain fall into my palm. I looked down at the cute robot in my palm, and Yuu put his hand down.

"What... why?"

He looked at my hand. "It's a reminder of my promise. I told you I'd tell you everything, and no matter what, I'm not going to break that. You're too important for me to keep secrets from you anymore. So I'm giving this so we remember, and that when the time is right, I can tell you everything. Alright?" His last word was shaken with his voice. Neither of us had let a tear go, but that wouldn't last long.

"But Yuu, this must be important to you," I could think of nothing better to say, and I cursed my own foolishness.

He shrugged, and gave me a weak fake smile. "I guess I won't forget then." His voice shook with the tears that threatened to come out. "Don't lose it."

"Yuu-,"

Suddenly he grabbed me into a strong hug. The feeling of his arms around me, face against mine, his handsome caramel hair falling against my face, was so perfect I never wanted to let go of him. I let him hold me there, eventually putting my arms around his, for as long as I could. I was overcome with the intense desire to hold him forever and ever, wishing it could just stay like this. I didn't want to lose him, so what was I doing? I shook with sobs as he held me, the key chain in my hand. A tear traced it's way down my cheek, and I felt embarrassed that I had let him see me cry like this. I wanted to hold him there forever, but when he began to pull back, like always, I let him.

As he pulled back I saw that I indeed hadn't been the first to cry. Yuu's cheeks were covered in tears, and I immediately felt awful for everything I had put this man through, wishing there as some way I could undo it all for about the eightieth time since Yuu joined Easter.

He looked into my eyes, their soft kind amber penetrating the icy blue of my eyes, and didn't try to give me a weak smile this time, his face the picture of sadness. "Goodbye, Yukari. I love you."

"Yuu-kun," I choked out.

He looked away from me for a moment, then wiped his face with his sleeve, fixing me with a hard amber gaze, a frown across his normally smiling face. "It's Nikaidou."

I felt his words tear at my heart, but before I could come up with something smart to leave him with, he turned, lowered his head, and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4: Hiding Feelings

Hey everybody! I'm sorry this chapter's taken so long, but there were some file issues, and the end of school had me really busy. Then in July I did Camp NaNoWriMo (google NaNoWriMo if you're curious) so now I'm finally finishing it. I had most of it done a while ago and thought I'd finish it then, but all of the above made me wait until now. Sorry times a million! But thanks for sticking with me if you're reading this! :D You guys rock.

For this scene I actually used quotes from an episode of Shugo Chara, which I got from , a legal sub anime watching site. It's from episode 26, just after Nikaidou has left Easter. I also got the translation to Meikyuu Butterfly (Butterfly Labyrinth) on the internet, but i deleted the link, so I'm not sure where :P Thanks for sticking around! Sorry for any oocness! :)

I looked into the recording room as Utau's powerful voice poured in through the large black headphones that chafed my ears uncomfortably, reaching back to pull out a group of maroon hairs caught in the headphones.

"Don't stare at me, don't capture me,

I'm a butterfly whose lost her way."

I closed my eyes for a moment. It was true, I'd heard the song Butterfly Labyrinth many times, but still the lyrics moved my heart slightly. I'd never show it, of course, but every time I heard those words I couldn't help but feel connected to it. _I suppose it makes sense, _I thought. _Since the goal is to make children feel drawn to it and make it reach their hearts eggs. _I looked at the teen through the sound-proof glass, her long blonde pigtails moving with her passionate sound. Shaking my head at my own distractedness, I looked back down at the binder in my hands.

_We have to think of something else soon. We're not going to be able to continue with the same song and expect to continue with the same success level, especially without..._ I let out a breath. Not only had it been a month since I broke up with the man, he had also declared his resignation from Easter but a few days ago.

I remembered a few nights ago well. The boss had just called me into a meeting when he realized Nikaidou wasn't around. So he called him to see what was going on. I was still trying to figure out what he had meant.

"The day when you present the embryo to Gozen is not far off."

_What did he mean?_ I thought. _And then to go and quit because of the 'Gaurdian' kids? What is going on with him?_

I shook my head again, as if trying to lose the thoughts. It had been so long since I ended this, and still I seemed unable to get my mind off of him. I ran my hand through my hair as I let out a sigh. After two meetings, a recording session and taking Utau to a magazine interview across town, I couldn't help but be exhausted. And now, to be trying to make sense once again of what happened a month ago once more like I had done every day since... Stress was filling me to the brim.

"The precious, beloved key to my heart,

regretably broke."

I frowned. Utau's lyrics were always dead on. I knew I had to get out of here before I lost it. Slamming the white binder shut, I looked at the man running the audio, pulling off the uncomfortable headphones. "I'm going home now. Can you take it from here?"

The man looked up at me, his plain brown eyes meeting mine. "Uhh, sure, Sanjo-san. But shouldn't you wait to receive Utau-san?"

I shook my head. "She'll be fine. Tell her I said good work."

He looked at me for a moment more, then turned back to the soundboard. "Well alright then. I'll tell her."

I gave him a nod before stepping out of the room. As the door came to a close, I moved my hand to my head. "Why can't I stop thinking about him?" I whispered to myself. Anger rose inside of me. _This isn't right. Why can't I just be rid of him? Why am I still worried? _I sighed as I ran my hands through my curling hair. I couldn't help the anger and frustration, especially when I got distracted so often because I couldn't stop picturing his face. I still missed him, but the sadness of losing him had quickly turned into anger. Much of it was directed at myself for being unable to forget him, but some of it was directed at him for... I don't know, everything. Being so wonderful. Being so irresistable. Being so unforgettable. _God, Yukari, what are you doing to yourself?_ I shook my head again, which seemed to do me no good.

I headed off to the main Easter building to gather up my things.

_Purse, notebook, cell phone... _My hand froze as I looked at the phone in my hand, the keychain on it swinging, red string brushing against my knuckle as I stood in the small office. The tiny robots arms swung at its side. Again, Nikaidou's face filled my mind, as his words came back to me once more.

"I'm giving you this so we remember, and when the time is right, I can tell you everything."

I let out a breath. "But when?" Now that we'd broken up, how would I ever really understand what had upset him so badly that day? For all I knew, I'd have this keychain forever. I wasn't making any plans to see Yuu—No, Nikaidou-san—in the near future. I let out a sigh and cleared away the thoughts as I gathered my things and headed outside.

_How dare he... _I suddenly thought. _First, he makes me fall in love with him. Then he keeps secrets from me. _I felt myself clutching the trinket tightly. _Then he guilts me by joining Easter, then he starts acting completely differently than the man I fell in love with. This isn't my fault, it's his! _Deep inside I wasn't so sure, but I was so angry I couldn't help but believe every negative thought that swarmed into my head. I threw my phone into my purse and headed for the door, trying to clear my anger from my face as I stepped into the hallway.

I stopped dead as I saw the orange car in the parking lot outside of the main Easter building. _It can't be. _ But I recognized Nikaidou's newer car the moment I saw it. _He came back?_ The thought was filled with my immediate caution, as well as the anger I'd just built up and some suprise. I walked down the steps without much thought until I stood right next to it. I took a moment to consider my next move, but before I could, I saw a familiar figure coming out of the Easter building with two haphazardly stacked boxes. I turned and crossed my arms, trying to keep too much of the anger off of my face while still giving him a frown.

Nikaidou took each step carefully with the boxes to keep from falling. When he finally made it down safely he glanced at me, then swung the front door open and shoved the boxes inside.

"Honestly..." He closed the door gingerly, and I watched his caramel hair move with the effort. _Geez, Yukari, focus. _He turned back to me, and for the first time in what felt like forever his amber eyes fell on me with a cautious smile. "After working so hard for the company, they tell me to collect my belongings myself." He raised his hands and eyebrows, as if he'd expect sympathy. _How could he act like nothing's happened and joke just like he used to?_

I fixed him with a hard glare. "That's the life of a loser."

"Man," he put his hand in his hair. "You're harsh." I didn't respond. _He's acting just like... Just like before we dated. _"But you know... I've completely lost interest in winning or losing." Suddenly his smile lestened, and his eyebrows relaxed. His face left joking as he looked at me as if trying to show me with his face how he'd changed. His expression was the same non-joking, casual expression he'd worn so many times before. _When he was consoling me, or talking serious with me, or... _I felt my heart ache, which just made me more annoyed. I narrowed my eyes. "Working overtime again?"

I didn't respond, since he was completely right, and I hated it. His face changed back to joking. "If you push yourself too hard, you'll age faster."

I felt my eyebrows tighten to a glare. Nikaidou knew I hated people bringing up my age! "That's none of your business, Nikaidou-sensei." The polite suffix felt strange on my tongue, but I didn't mind since I was so annoyed. I noticed that he was out of his teaching clothes, and wearing a neat dark brown suit and clean white shirt.

His face softened, and he gave me a genuine smile. Somehow I knew there was nothing fake about it, no hiding pain, no hiding post-break-up grievances. "Well, take care."

Nikaidou waited for a reply, but I simply could not think of one to give him. After all of the frustration I'd gone through, to have him act like he was completely not upset was shocking. So as he got into his car I fixed him with a hard, "stay away from me" glare. I didn't stop him, or try and give him the charm back, not knowing how he'd react. After a moment he pulled away, and I just watched him go. My insides swarmed with annoyance. I wondered how he wasn't upset, and how he could put on such a happy face. _But this is the man that destroyed peoples dreams under the guise of a kind teacher. _Suprisingly the thought sent a chill down my spine. Nikaidou was a man of many faces, that much I knew was true. But as I thought back to the charm in my purse, I rememebered how he'd promised to show me and explain to me all of those faces, and all of who he was. _But to really understand a person like that would take so long. Months, years. We'd have to be... married. _I put my hand up to my face in frustration now that his car was out of sight. _I don't want that, so I don't have to worry. Right? _I let out a breath. _I spent so much time thinking Nikaidou was my saving grace, but really he's just as imperfect as I am. I know that. So why does he stay on my mind? _I muttered some unproffesional words under my breath as I turned and headed towards my car.


End file.
